


Conspiracy

by elowen_p



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Jack and Maddie Fenton's A+ Parenting, danny: i can't believe that my own sister would betray me like this, jazz: your life expectancy would improve if you moved in with vlad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29363310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elowen_p/pseuds/elowen_p
Summary: “It’s a conspiracy!” Danny cries, jamming an accusatory finger close enough to Jazz’s face that she has to go cross-eyed to look at it. “You’re conspiring against me with my arch-nemesis!”Jazz brings her hand up and pushes the finger still pointed between her eyes back down. “Oh no.” she deadpans. “You’ve foiled my evil plot. Whatever shall I do?”She goes back to reading at her psychology textbook.Danny releases a strangled yelp of frustration and stomps out of the room.
Relationships: Danny Fenton & Jazz Fenton
Comments: 12
Kudos: 141





	Conspiracy

“We should invite Vlad over for dinner.” Jazz says one night and Danny sends her what might be his best death glare to date.

“And why would we do that?” he grits out, ignoring the startled looks his parents give him.

Jazz pulls her best innocent face and Danny’s suspicion skyrockets. “I just thought it might be nice. We haven’t seen him in a while and he must be so busy with his duties as mayor.” she turns to their parents. “It’s a shame that we hardly ever see him even now that he’s living in the same city as us.”

Danny’s sure that his eyes flash green with anger and is satisfied when Jazz’s innocent face breaks into a glare telling him to tone it down a notch.

“Well _I_ think it’s a wonderful idea.” his Mom says, sending an admonishing look Danny’s way. He looks to his Dad but it’s clear from the enthusiasm in his eyes that no help is to be found on that frontier

He gives his most world-weary sigh before lying his head on the table with a thud. At least they might get take-out to soften the blow.

~

“I’m watching you.” Danny tells Jazz as soon as their parents are back in the lab. “I know you’re planning something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” she informs him, not even bothering to look up from the book she’s reading.

Danny ‘humph’s and Jazz looks up long enough to give him her ‘you’re being childish’ glare. He gives her his ‘and _you’re_ being annoying’ glare which she responds to with her ‘go away, _you’re_ the annoying one’ glare.

Danny gives a louder, angrier ‘humph’. His ghost sense goes off before they can continue the argument but he’s certain he would have won if he’d had the opportunity.

~

The dinner goes disgustingly well.

Vlad remains careful not to antagonise Danny while Danny does his best to antagonise him. What’s even worse is how well Vlad and Jazz get along, making small talk like they’ve done it a hundred times before.

Danny spends a lot of the meal being extremely worried that maybe they _have_ done it a hundred times before.

Once they’ve finished eating and Vlad is on his way out he ruffles Danny’s hair gently enough that he’s forcibly reminded of the number of times his Dad has almost clobbered him with the same gesture. The moment Vlad is out the door and their parents have retreated back down to the lab Danny turns to Jazz with an accusatory look.

“Do you two talk?” he demands, gesturing wildly at door Vlad left through.

Jazz hums and turns her back on him. “We talk.” she says non-committally, heading up to her room.

Danny is fairly sure he’s going insane. “About _what_?” he almost yells.

Jazz turns back to face him just long enough for Danny to see her roll her eyes. “You. Obviously.”

Danny’s so shocked by the honestly that he stays frozen in the hallway, momentarily forgetting to follow Jazz and demand answers to his many, many questions.

~

“She’s conspiring.” he rants to Sam and Tucker when they’re walking to school the next day. “She’s a conspiracist who’s conspiring with the enemy.”

Danny is so caught up in how cruel his life is that he almost misses the look Sam and Tucker exchange.

“That was a look!” he accuses. They exchange another look. “That was another one!”

“No one’s exchanging looks.” Tucker tries to pacify him, “Least of all us.”

“No that was definitely a look. And not just any look, that was a _conspirational_ look.” he hisses.

Sam frowns at him, “You’re being ridiculous. There was no look.”

“ _I’m being ridiculous?!_ ” he screeches in a voice which some far away part of his brain may deem to sound a little ridiculous.

“Yes.” Sam informs him. “And you should listen to what Jazz is saying” Danny starts to grow even more enraged while Tucker makes frantic chopping motions from behind his back, “She’s right that you’d have a higher life expectancy if you stayed with Vlad instead of your parents.”

“I’m already dead!” he shouts as Sam rolls her eyes. “She’s recruited you, hasn’t she?”

Sam doesn’t answer, an affirmation in itself, and Danny turns to Tucker to see if he has at least one ally left in this cruel, cruel world.

“She makes some excellent points!” he splutters, putting his hands up in surrender as Danny glares, “He does try to kill you a lot less often than your parents do.”

“I’m surrounded by traitors.” he laments, and flies to school in an attempt to fully communicate how betrayed he is.

This turns out to be a mistake when Sam and Tucker arrive at school, having coordinated an attack plan on his decision making skills in the ten minutes he left them alone.

Danny bangs his head on the desk and suffers through the indignity of having wonderful friends who care about him.

~

“Did you know that Vlad has a pool?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m pretty sure I saw a ping-pong table too.”

“Shut up.” A moment passes before Danny looks up sharply from his breakfast. “What do you mean you’re _pretty sure?_ You didn’t investigate when you thought you saw a ping-pong table?”

Jazz arches an eyebrow in a disturbingly Vlad-like way. “So you’re interested?”

“What? No! Shut up.”

Danny eats the rest of his breakfast. He is convinced that he deserves a medal for managing to sit through Jazz’s smug looks until he’s done.

~

Danny is being held against his will in a darkened room where Jazz is giving a powerpoint on all the reasons he should move in with Vlad.

“This is hell.” he informs the room as Jazz moves on to the fifth slide detailing all the times their parents have tried to murder him.

Sam puts her hand up and Jazz gestures for her to go ahead. “Could you possibly go into the correlation between Danny not living with people actively attempting to murder him and his probability of surviving till graduation?”

“An excellent question!” Jazz praises, as if she wasn’t the one to plant it.

Danny groans, head in his hands. “You know I died? If I avoided hell the first time then _why_ am I here now?”

Tucker pats his shoulder sympathetically. Danny would lean into it but he knows for a fact that Tucker is currently looking up ‘how to convince your friend that he’s being abused’ on his phone and is hence just as bad as the rest of the traitors in the room.

~

“You know it’s not just about surviving, right?” Jazz says one day, cautious for once. “It’s not good for your self-esteem to have to listen to them say how much they hate you all the time.”

“They don’t hate me!” Danny says before processing anything else Jazz just said. “Stop caring about my well-being and go back to being annoying. Immediately.” he demands.

Jazz half-smiles. “Okay.” For a moment, before she can remember that as the older sibling she isn’t allowed to have emotions, the look on her face morphs into something absolutely heart-wrenching, like she’s already grieving him, and Danny has no idea what to do with that.

She leaves the room and the weird tension that had descended goes with her but Danny can’t get that expression on her face out of his head.

He wonders if that’s how she’ll look if their parents actually do manage to kill him again.

~

After a week of that look on Jazz’s face plaguing him, Danny breaks.

“Fine!” he shouts at Jazz, who looks up from her cereal with a startled expression. “I will spend _one week_ at Vlad’s. As a test. Just to get a measure of how evil he is at the moment.”

Something like elation is growing on Jazz’s face and Danny can’t help but feel embarrassed by it. She gets up and pulls Danny into a hug close to her chest, smushing her cheek against the top of his head.

“You won’t regret this!” she promises, “I’m gonna call Vlad and set it up right now.” She pulls back and looks Danny in the eyes, pointing a threatening finger at his face. “No take backs.”

“No take backs.” he agrees, putting his hands up in surrender.

She pulls him in for another hug, like she can’t help herself, before moving into the corridor to call Vlad.

Danny starts making his own breakfast and thinks for the first time about how quiet it is without her in the room. About how quiet the house is going to be if she’s the only one here who doesn’t practically live in the basement. About how there’s going to be very few people for her to talk to if he isn’t around to bother her twenty four seven.

“Hey Jazz, you wanna stay there with me?” he shouts into the hallway without thinking about it.

There’s a surprised pause in her conversation with Vlad. “Absolutely!” she hollers back with enthusiasm.

Danny feels the satisfaction of having something to look forward to settle in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> I had so much fun writing this?? I always write angst but I like how this came out kind of a lot??
> 
> Also I'm an only child but I've got a lot of love for Danny and Jazz's relationship so I hope I did them justice :)


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